7 Lessons I Learned After 7 Years Of Living Abroad
Reflections after a long stay overseas.
I’ve recently returned to my home country (Germany) after 7 years of living abroad in 3 different foreign countries. My goal with this article was to write down everything that I believe were the most important lessons I’ve learned over the years.
So, let’s get right into it.
1. Living freely matters. But so does money.
To me, new experiences are truly invaluable. Nothing I ever did gave me as much as simply living my life according to my own dreams and wishes. Simply doing as I want. Living freely. Being myself.
The problem is just:
Without money, I could never do as I please. Without money, I would be a slave to external factors — whatever those may be.
There is no other choice for me, but to make sacrifices. I must do things I don’t really want to and build wealth. Because wealth is what gives me true freedom to experience whatever I want.
In the end, money means freedom. Money is what gives me the choice to do as I please. It allows me to spend my time in whatever way I want.
2. Life develops one little step at a time.
I might have a general sense for where my life is heading, but I have little control over what happens along the way. I can only ever focus on the tiny little next step and try to fix one problem at a time.
Too much stuff happens in life that I have no control over:
- I might get sick at any point in time
- I might lose my job at any point in time
- I might receive a huge unexpected opportunity at any point in time
Whatever external stuff happens in life doesn’t really matter. Bad stuff happens. But hey, good stuff happens, too.
I have no choice but to accept it as it is and move on. As long as I have a general direction in mind and move one step at a time, things will work out somehow.
3. Culture is somewhat overrated.
I am a big fan of foreign cultures. After all, the desire to experience new environments is what made me move to three foreign countries over a period of seven years. And yet, I have come to believe that culture matters far less than we think.
Why? Because in the end, all humans have the same needs. Everyone wants roughly the same things out of life.
- Being safe and secure
- Feeling loved
- Having a sense of belonging
- Working on something that matters
- etc.
I believe that the things we have in common are so much more powerful than our differences.
Sure, I am often unable to understand another person in the beginning. But if I remind myself that somewhere behind the other’s perspective are roughly the same underlying needs as mine, then I will figure out a way to put myself into their perspective.
4. I will never be a real “expert”.
The world is just too complex to get a deep understanding of what is happening on a broad range of issues. Likewise, competition is really steep. There is always somebody who knows more than me on any particular issue, somewhere in the world.
But hey, so what?
I have my own unique set of skills and acquired knowledge: content Marketing. Intercultural Communication. Digital business models. Living and working abroad. Language skills in Farsi. Understanding of the Indonesian and Iranian markets.
With my own set of skills, I am carving my own unique place in the world.
Obviously, I can’t expect everything to fall into place tomorrow. But as long as I focus on getting better at what I do, while providing value to others, I will figure things out somehow.
5. Patience is damn hard, but necessary.
I always want everything right now. Everything must be clear and in order, for me to feel comfortable and secure. Well, life just doesn’t work this way. Uncertainty is a big part of life that I must accept and embrace.
Whenever I move to a different country, in some ways it feels like my life begins from scratch once again.
Naturally, my brain hates that. It wants everything to be in order. It wants me to have a secure job. A place to stay. An established daily rhythm. In short, I want everything to fall into place right now.
What’s the result?
I become anxious, nervous and impatient.
When I let the impatience take hold of me, I feel sick and depressed. I feel like everything is screwed up and I will never get things in order. I feel like I’ve lost at the game of life.
My solution? Accepting and moving on.
That’s really all I can do. Whenever I get these negative feelings, I try to accept the situation and move on. I try to focus on the solution to the problem one little step at a time.
I try to forget: “sh*t! I am screwed now!”
I try to think: “okay, what am I going to do now?”.
6. There is no “perfect” situation.
Just like with everything else in life, every situation has its own advantages and disadvantages. I could search for it as long as I want, I wouldn’t be able to find a city or a country that fulfils all my needs.
Happiness doesn’t rely much on the external environment.
I can only find my own happiness inside of me.
Actions like moving to another country or changing my job only ever serve to fulfill my curiosity and give me a fresh start. But they won’t help me to deal with the real problems that I may have in my life.
Changing around my life will never be enough to give me inner peace. The real problems of life are the one’s that happen inside. Emotions and feelings that need to be dealt with.
Whatever truly matters, happens on the inside.
7. A boring life is a good life.
Whenever I am moving to a new country, I am trying to do a whole lot of different things at the same time. Learning the local language. Taking some university courses. Trying to do different kinds of work. Publishing a book. Getting local PR coverage. Meeting people at all different sorts of events.
I am trying to escape into activity. My feeling is that being busy means being productive.
In the end, I can hardly even do a fraction of these things.
The more complex my living situation is, the more important it is that I focus on the essential. I must ask myself what the few really essential things are for me in my life right now.
Once I’ve done that, I must put all my energy into these things.
Routine is an incredibly important part of life. Especially in a new country, where everything is different, it is important to be able to follow familiar patterns and do similar things every single day.
I will be fine as long as these things are, in fact, the most essential things in my life right now.
Life may seem boring this way.
But hey, at least it moves in the right direction.
Conclusion:
My time abroad may have shaped me a lot. Especially considering that I’ve spent my whole adult life outside of Germany. However, I believe that it probably matters much less than one would think.
In the end, I have the same needs as everybody else. I want safety, love, interesting work and a sense of belonging.
Where I live only plays a minor role in all that.
Perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve learned while travelling is that where you live and where you are coming from, doesn’t really matter much. We are all human beings, with very similar needs.
In the future, I want to focus much less on my external circumstances and much more on my inner journey.
I want to be at peace.
And that’s all.
