As long as I cast a shadow
What happens when a star disappears? Its photons nevertheless, continue to travel into an eternity of space. Forever at the speed of light. They don’t vanish, they just rush to reach the hand of God waiting for them beyond Creation.
Photons of each star I see reach my eyes and merge with my optic nerves fulfilling their mission of beauty. Some of them bounce off my skin, off my perfect tie, off my shiny hair. And I cast a shadow confirming an end of a journey for some photons. I make a difference. My eyes connect with stars. I am a being of light.
I let the light fill me up. It is the food for of my fallen spirit. I soak up the ancient light. I connect to the source, to the beginning of time. When all was one. When there was no past, only future. That’s how far it goes.
I cry sometimes, because I don’t deserve that beauty of light. I get it for free. I may even become a bad person, but the light will still excite my retinas. It’s a hint. That there is no evil in light. The evil is the absence of light.
And I laugh sometimes, because I am bathing in the light. I take sun showers. My eyes wide shut, still seeing the pink curtain when pointing to the sun. I am alive.
My chronic pain, my passion, my anxiety, my suffering are happening right now. If they steal my focus I suffer more. My mind forgets about the light and gets lost in the maze of shadows. I begin to fall into a void, a deep black hole of screams, a slow lightless death, a suffocation by fears. As I fall the only thing I remember to do is to point my eyes up where there is still light, the entrance of a tube, the world, the space, billions of suns. But still falling. Still falling.
Love, remember love. I love the light. I love the warmth of it. The shower of light, remember? As I remember love I remember my inherited wings as they carry me back up. I let it be. My love for the light. And I am back in my room feeling the ray of light softly falling on my hands as I write this. I cast a shadow, I am still here. Without the light, there would be no shadow, no proof of my existence. Everything would be black like diamonds submerged in ink. Drowned for eternity.
But, I cast a shadow, I can still make a difference, I can still move mountains. Thanks to the Light I am echoing, reverberating photons in the unfinished dance of beauty creating little whirllights myself.
Today is a great day to be alive. Today I cast a shadow. I am still here.
That’ll do. That’ll do.
