Battling Impostor Syndrome in the Software Industry

Published in

Be Yourself

7 min readOct 4, 2019

Background

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert in Impostor Syndrome and this article is just an attempt to raise awareness about Impostor Syndrome and ensure that people don’t repeat the same mistakes that I did.

Is it difficult to write a snippet of code, compile and run it successfully in the first go? Do you get lost whenever you see a new codebase and are unable to run the code even after ending up on StackOverflow for hours? Do you always find yourself trying to catch up with your peers/colleagues?

Here’s an image that I can relate to when I show symptoms of Impostor Syndrome. If you can strongly relate to these feelings as well, it might imply that you are very close to experiencing Impostor syndrome yourself. While I’ll define what exactly is Impostor Syndrome might come later, what you go through is pretty common, especially in the software industry. As a matter of fact, I often feel this way, consequently putting myself under high pressure.

Time and again I find myself doing close to nothing and avoiding everyone who I know could help me. One prime reason is to not let them know that I’ve been faking all along and am actually an impostor and not the technically competent engineer they believe they are talking to. It’s during one of these phases that I decided to pen this article.

What is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor Syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is commonly cited as “a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internal fear of being exposed as a `fraud`.’’

Now, this is a pattern in the human brain, where an individual suspects their accomplishments and talents and believes people are out there to expose his/her reality to the world. Unfortunately, coding has regular failures, and just last week, I broke a live feature on a live production system which wasn’t meant to happen. While such failures are regular, I also experience success by solving a ticket/issue assigned to us, adding a new Pull Request, reading somebody’s undocumented code :p, etc. However, there are cases when I mostly fail, making me more insecure and resulting in me doubting myself more than I normally would.

To cite an example, as a rising junior, I had the opportunity to work with an e-commerce startup in Bengaluru. They had a regressive interview style where they asked a lot of questions on Data Structures and Algorithms, and I performed decently well. I answered a few complex questions but missed out on a straightforward one. Regardless, I was offered the position, while a friend of mine, a programmer since 8th grade was rejected. Now I wasn’t prepared for this and I ultimately rejected the offer, presuming that if I worked there, people would know about my incompetency and deem me as a lost cause

Such scenarios are unfortunately dangerous and yet so common in the realm of technology and innovation. Having interviewed multiple people for this article, of my age group and juniors currently in college, this is a reality that should be accepted and addressed.

Identifying Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is different for different people and identifying it can be a difficult task. Here are some problems that most people face when battling Impostor Syndrome:

People with Impostor Syndrome do not collaborate easily:

This can easily be confused with someone being an introvert,, but there are high chances of one being an impostor introvert.
One of the reason is that they don’t want to run the risk of “revealing their true selves” to the world

People with Impostor Syndrome think they are not competent enough:

This attitude is noticed when applying for a job. I have hesitated to apply to particular jobs, thinking I do not deserve the position.
This thinking results in mediocre beginnings and poor performance throughout entire weeks and doing tasks that I hate, because I believe I don’t have it in myself to try for something better. It is important to realise this at the earliest and ensure you re-evaluate your worth or ask someone to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses.

People with Impostor Syndrome take up multiple tasks to feel worthy:

For the longest period of time I have juggled between multiple tasks, enrolled in multiple societies and taken up multiple technical projects, to ensure a safe reserve where my personality remains hidden, in case I am exposed elsewhere.
Biting off more than I can chew often leads to “Burnout” where I just can’t do anything else. I personally experienced this even when writing this article and in such a situation it’s necessary to take a step back and stop. During burnout I just feel too exhausted to do anything and interest levels drop to zero.

Battling Impostor Syndrome

Now it’s depressing to hear those details, but like all problems, Impostor Syndrome can be overcome. However, it is important to note that before we try out ways to battle Impostor Syndrome, the first and foremost step is to accept the fact that we are indeed facing Impostor Syndrome. Often, people disregard their true emotions and believe they are impostors. I’ve had this feeling several times till date and I use the following methods to steer clear of them. The following method works differently for different people, but quoting Julie Pagano verbatim from her PyCon 2014 talk, “ we can all try and ensure we try different things to see what works best for us”.

Building Positive Support Groups:

This is valuable, especially when going through a bad phase. It is necessary to ensure that we are interacting with the right set of people who provide constructive feedback, to ensure that we stand back upright on our feet.
These Positive Support Groups may include colleagues, friends, family or perhaps even strangers in various communities that we are a part of.

Avoiding Negative Groups:

On the flip side, we need to avoid people who provide destructive feedback. This will otherwise lead us to succumbing to pressure, far beyond our ability, thus strengthening our Impostor Syndrome. While it might not be practical to completely avoid them, it is definitely possible to minimise interactions to ensure that we feel better before we get back on our feet.
This is extremely important because research has shown that one negative feedback can overrule hundreds of compliments . This could further spiral the chain of self-doubt and eventually lead to depression and lack of self-worth.

Keeping a checklist of Goals/Objectives for work:

Keeping a checklist of goals and objectives is important as it indicates satisfactory progress. I maintain a checklist of tasks I need to complete every fortnight, and just crossing out completed ones helps me feel better about my work.
Another option is to note down goals in an Excel Spreadsheet and to fill in the weekly accomplishments.

Finding joy in the work you do:

It’s important to find joy in the work that we do, else we will end up being miserable. There are always ups and downs at work and trying out new things. Here are two of the several ways to finding joy in work:
One is to self-appreciate the work that we do. Often, we tend to be harsh on ourselves, because finding faults is easier than acknowledging a good day’s ceaseless effort. As a personal goal, I’ve ensured that every month, I find at least two positive outcomes from items on my to-do list, that gives me a sense of satisfaction..
Another way of doing this is to publish ongoing work in the form of a Facebook or a Blog post and let people know about the progress. In most cases, this ensures a receipt of appreciation/ feedback, boosting self-confidence.

It’s not just you:

According to 2018 research published in the Communications of the ACM, an estimated 58 percent of employees in major technological firms experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. In a recent survey, a Salesforce employee expressed feeling like a fraud even after 14 years of being an engineer. So it is certain that impostor syndrome is not rare and can be survived.

Conclusion

To conclude, I’d say that it’s perfectly okay to feel like an impostor and it’s important not merely to fight it, but accept it and move ahead.

On a different note, here are some books that are definitely recommended to be mastered. The aim is to consistently put our best efforts to achieve short-term goals. As the famous saying by the popular Motivational Speaker and Actor Denzel Washington goes,

“Do what you have to do, to do what you want to do. I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you’re prepared for it. ”.

References

Programmer Imposter Syndrome by Coding Dojo
Why do Software Developers suffer from Imposter Syndrome by Rajeef
Keynote Pycon 2015 by Jacob Kaplan-Moss
Flash Talks, DroidJam 2018
It’s Dangerous to Go Alone: Battling the Invisible Monsters in Tech by Julie Pagano at PyCon 2014