Day 69: Daddy
Our beloved daddy went very peacefully yesterday afternoon.
I’ve managed a few hours of sleep, but my eyes are hella swollen from crying. I’ve gone between crying and laughing. I want everyone to know from the bottom of my heart that daddy has lived a full life, and fulfilled his destiny. If I may add one thing, it’s just to say please use every ounce of everything you have in you to live your life to the fullest. My father would have wanted me to write, he too was a writer after all. Written words give me courage, and help me express my deepest feelings. So here I am, writing. I am after all my fathers daugher. With all my love.
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There was the look of mischief in your eyes when you smiled
There was the conviction in your voice when you spoke
Did you know I was always watching you?
Daddy
Born under a mango tree nearly seventy years ago
Nearly buried because they thought you were dead after birth
Saved because a mysterious old woman told the crowd not to throw you away
From the beginning you were a miracle
Mango tree child
Did you know I was always watching you?
You told me how twice in your life you had heard the voice of God audibly
The first, calmly giving you an instruction
‘Just keep walking’
And so you followed the voice you didn’t recognize, passing by the soldiers who should have shot you down
Walking calmly past them as they seemed not to even be aware of your presence
Your mind told you to run
But the voice kept saying ‘just keep walking’
Mango tree child
Did you know I was watching you?
I saw the flash of some pain in your eyes in some instances
And till today I have never known about all the painful memories you may have harboured
But I always understood that some things were meant for you alone to resolve with your God
Did you know I was watching you?
When you and my mother dealt with pain and loss
When you and her would dance up a storm at the parties you would throw
When you and her loved each other and us fiercely
When you and her grew in a friendship so strong that sometimes even as your child I stepped back and felt privileged to see such love built between two people who knew how imperfect they were as individuals, but perfect for each other
Mango tree child
Did you know I was watching you?
Did you know that because I saw you fight, win and so unashamedly own your testimony about your battle over alcohol that I have never felt ashamed to own my own struggles
I was watching you
The second time the Master told you to ‘just keep walking’ was when you returned home after trying to make a new path for all of us in Johannesburg
When you came back home none of us doubted that you were at peace with us remaining in our little Bauchi
Bauchi loves and thanks you
Mango tree child
You have broken so many hearts
Did you know I was watching you comfort those who mourned
Did you know I was learning from you as you devoted your evenings to feeding the poor
Did you think I didn’t hear about how people knew that if they had no money for treatment, for school fees, they could come to you
Mango tree child
You mastered everything you did
Excellence upon excellence
Speaking languages to perfection
Living in practice of the Hippocratic oath you took until the very end
Did you know I was watching you?
I heard you when you said you would work till the end
I have done what I know you would have wanted me to
I have assured everyone that you knew how much they all loved you
I was watching you
I watched as you woke up at 4:30 every morning for six months straight to hand write your book
I was watching you
Medical doctor, philosopher, walking thesaurus, gardener, author, grandfather to all the children in church with the sweets in your pockets that you brought for them
Mango tree child
They told me that yesterday you died
You and I both know that is not what happened
Mango tree child
For the last time in the realm of the living you heard your Master call you
HE held your hand and led you into the realm of eternal life
as HE said to you
‘Roger, let us just keep walking’.
