I’m tired of being shamed for taking my time.
There are a lot of these moments in my life, I’ve realized. Times when you have to be patient. Wait out the cold and the monotony and the struggle to see the end of the tunnel. There’s always a light eventually, I guess.
It’s just really hard to see right now.
I try not to put my happiness in the hands of anyone else. When I apply for a job, I try not to sit back every day and watch for that email to pop up in my inbox offering me the chance to interview. I try not to wait for someone great to come along.
Everyone says not to wait. They say to go out and take what you want. To grab life by the horns and run off into the sunset like some sorta Disney movie. It all sounds so cute and empowering and special on people’s blogs and Instagram posts, doesn’t it?
Nobody ever speaks on the value of waiting. Okay, well, maybe not no one. I often think of this fantastic song called “Slow Burn” by Kacey Musgraves.
I’m alright with the slow burn
Taking my time, let the world turn
I’m gonna do it my way, it’ll be alright
Every time I get nervous — When I shake looking at my computer screen. When I think I’m on the verge of crying out of frustration, I try to just put on this song and remember that it’s okay to not really have my shit together right now. It’s okay to not feel like I have to be doing driving myself crazy, looking for certainty when there isn’t any
I’ve learned that time moves slow. Years go fast, but days move slow. It’s easy to be impatient when waiting for that little green notification. It’s hard to be patient when I so badly want to move to that new city and get that exciting new job and live that gloriously beautiful life.
#Travel!
Being patient is hard as hell right now. After I’ve invested the time, how do I wait to let it come to fruition? How do I ignore the people in my ear telling me that success (although that’s one hell of a broad term) is only earned through working my ass off, never sleeping and chugging coffee through the night?
I don’t have any good answers. But I do know that when I put good thoughts into the universe — when my energy, actions and mind are attentive to what I want and the person I want to be, things fall into place. Call it God, The Universe or maybe just dumb luck. I believe in that.
I have to. I just have to.
