Touching Someone’s Life
I believe if you are loved, you can love, if you see compassion, you can show it, and if you are helped, you can help.
I believe if you are loved, you can love, if you see compassion, you can show it, and if you are helped, you can help. If your life is touched by someone, you wish you can touch other’s lives too.
It was several years ago. I haven’t graduated yet from the university. I was quite far away from my family both physically and emotionally. Indeed, I was not able to miss them at all. So, I was not calling them, they were not really calling me. I was not sharing my life with them. Actually, there was no one with who I was sharing what I was facing.
I was having problems because of some ideological issues which I was just discovering. I was having problems with my hard courses, and I was having problems with life itself. My emotions were not regular. I was feeling them at the edge sometimes, and I was not feeling anything other times. I had no idea what emotion management is and why I don’t feel normal. I was not able to express myself and communicate with others easily.
Lately, I learned that because of the lack of communication, emotion sharing and listening in my family, although I learned a lot about math, my emotional intelligence was terrible. Because I can’t tell others, I was living everything inside and no one tried to reach the inner me. There was another world inside me and no one knows about that secret world. I was believing that everyone is just like me and no one shares its inner world. Everyone lives inside and plays a role outside. That was what I believed for many years until someone tried to touch my inner world. In Turkish, we use an idiom: until someone puts her hands under the stone.
She was the first person who really listened to me. I was surprised that she was asking questions that belong to my inner world. I was shocked that she can understand and act when I am not okay. It was strange that I started to let my inner world to be in touch with the outer one. I was really talking from inside, I was not talking to talk but talking to share.
She helped me a lot and taught me a lot. I learned how to listen to someone from her. I learned what compassion means. I learned how someone can help another person. I read her book suggestions and started to go to therapy after her insistence. I practiced with other people around me to share more and listen more. Some of them reacted back and shared their inner world with me while some others kept living on the surface. I enjoyed with those who let me join their secret worlds and became more sincere with them. I gained new buddies to call hard times. I have freed from loneliness thanks to her who put her hands under the stone for the first time for me.
Today, I am a new grad who is not sure how to continue her life. Should I start working in a company or should I go with a master? I thought that my department was not related to psychology but I want touching other’s lives to be part of my life. The first person who touched my life was a teacher and just like her I can become a teacher too and have students to listen to their inner worlds and to touch their lives. Since the university is where I have faced with my biggest struggles, I can have students in that environment.
Now, I wrote this story because I believe the importance of sharing inner worlds but not only for that purpose. I also want to remember one of the most important reasons why I chose to continue with the master. University environment was difficult for me but I can be helping others. I want to remember my touching lives dream. I do not want to forget how my life has changed with a touch. One day, if I ask myself why I am in that place hopefully this story will remind me that many university students are waiting to be listened and understood with a sincere touch.
